Monday, July 19, 2010

Friends

WARNING - EMOTIONAL RAMBLING AHEAD!

I have been thinking a lot lately about friends and how important they are, and how thankful I am for the ones that I have in my life.  It is amazing to me that God knows what we need and he always places people in our lives to suit those needs.  I truely do have a great group of friends around me.

Friday night, Mandy and Jason (and their girls) came over for dinner (we went high health and ordered pizza) and Mandy and I played on my embroidery machine and the Daddies supervised the girls and hung out together.  When Mandy and I met, back in 2002, I never could have dreamed what we would each go through in our lives and how important our friendship would become.  Sure, there are times that we don't physically talk for a while, but we always seem to pick right back up where we left off and I know that if I need something, she is just a phone call away, and vice versa. 

Of course, who could forget Allison.  We met our freshman year, when we got paired together as room mates.  We IMMEDIATELY hit it off.  Other people would complain about their roomies but we didn't have those issues, we just got along.  Allison has moved all over the place but we are still besties to this day.  Interestingly, we are total opposites when it comes to most things (Politics mainly), and we tend to "agree to disagree" but it is never a hostile or heated conversation.  Allison is truely one of my dearest friends and probably one of the people, besides Mandy, that know me the best.

I am not going to take the time to outline every single one of my friends, that would be a LOOONG post and that is not what you are here for, right?  I just wanted to do a post on friendship in general.  I have found out over the past few years, especially after my Dad died, who really is a friend and who was just sticking around for the wrong reasons.

Right after Nonie and Dad died, I would get calls and cards and everyone wanted to know how I was holding up.  I would answer my usual "OK, some days are better than others, but over all, I am doing all right."  After a few months, all those people who were concerned and calling to check on me, started slowly dwindling.  Not that it was a big surprise, or a bad thing, just a fact.  Clearly, as I am aware, not everyone was effected by their deaths like I was, for obvious reasons.  This is where it gets interesting though; and where your true friends really become obvious.  On top of dealing with all the "firsts" - we were trying to start a family and going through treatments to try to get pregnant. It was a stressful, and highly emotional, time for us.  I noticed that there was a consistent half-dozen or so friends who would check on me/us.  Just a little "How ya doin'" email here and a "No need to call me back, just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you" voicemail there.  It was reassuring and a little disturbing too.  I was amazed that there were people who I would have bet high sums of money on, that they would call, who didn't and people who I never thought would care enough to follow up that did. 

This is the time when some of my High School friends, who I hadn't seen or spoken to in a while, popped back up.  You know who you are ladies!  Although we only see each other on the kid's birthdays or in passing, it meant so much, and still does, that they cared enough to check on me and support me.  Whether it be through a blog comment or an email or even just a kind hug at a kid's event, it was so reassuring.  I was floored when, the day of Rory's party, in the frigid rain, they drove down with their young kiddos to be a part of Rory's big day.  I remember looking around our house on that day, and thinking, "This is it, this is what it is all about, all our wonderful friends, all together to celebrate a life and such a momentous occassion, not only in Rory's life, but ours too."  Our house, that day, was full to the seams with love and happiness.  I can't think of anyone else I would have rather shared that day with than that house full of people. As we looked around, we saw all of our friends, laughing and embracing and just loving us and our little family of three.  It was a magical day, and not just for Rory!

You know, they say that when the going gets rough, that is when you find out who your true friends are.  I couldn't agree more.  2007 was a HORRIBLE year, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but it was a blessing too.  It became readily apparent, who was hanging around for their own benefit, and who truely cared about Kevin, Rory and I. That is a hard wake up call though.  It is difficult to know that you have put time and effort into a friendship or maintaing a relationship and in the end, you were the only one that cared about the frienship.  That is a hard pill to swallow, especially on top of all the other life altering events that we were going through.  After having come through it though, I am thrilled to have a group of people around us, who love and support us, and who would do anything for us and of whom we feel the same.  I can't ever repay you guys (you know who you are) for what  you have given me, for what you have given my family.  Sticking with someone through such dark and heavy times isn't easy, but you guys weathered the storm.  Again, I can't thank you enough...you guys are amazing, truly amazing!  Thank you for thinking of us, praying for  us and most of all for being there for us when we needed you.

5 comments:

Colleen said...

I'm glad you felt supported and loved during such a crappy time, and I'm sorry not all of your friends returned your friendship. I'm sure that IS a hard pill to swallow and probably not the particular time in your life you want to find something like that out. Our lives have taken us in different cities and different directions but we'll always be friends, I'll ALWAYS be at Rory's parties and I'll always be here when you need some support!

Lauren said...

Thanks Colleen! I am sorry that I missed Kate's party this weekend. I will have to send you her gift in the mail!

Candi said...

You know what I just realized the other day...we have known each other for 20 years! Wow I officially think you are my oldest friend. Like Colleen said even though we don't get to see each other often I know we'll all get to see our children grow up together and will still always be there for each other :) I'm sorry that you had to find out during one of the roughest parts of your life who your true friends are...it really sucks when someone you have always counted on lets you down.

I just smiled because to this day I'll never forget our first encounters together in Mrs. Tapscott's 5th grade classroom...and our many adventures we had living around the corner from each other :)

Monica said...

I know I haven't been there for every function, but we do have a long track record.It's amazing the friends that stick with you through think & thin and the ones who can muster a word of encouragement when you are going through a rough patch.

Lauren said...

Thanks guys! We all HAVE been friends for a long time. Monica, it is hard to believe that we have knows each other since we were 4 at the Ole' Covenant Presbyterian playschool...good times, good times! Thanks again guys for everything, I am SO glad that we all have reconnected!

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