Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Happy Birthday Dad

Today was my Dad's Birthday. This day has been hard for the last 2 years for a number of reasons. Today though, is different. Today it is hard because of the space. The spaces left unfilled by him. The empty space in my life. The empty space on the phone line. The empty space where his voice used to be. The empty space on my couch that used to be filled with his physical being. The resounding echo of the nothing that used to be filled with his life. Of course, these spaces have been here for over 2 years, but like I said earlier, this year is different. These spaces have been bridged, although the spaces still exist. The empty space in my life has been bridged by a beautiful little girl who has filled me to the brim. The empty space on the phone line has been bridged by friends, new and old, who are happy to take my call when I need to talk over something that I normally would have called him for. The empty space where his voice used to be is filled with squeels and giggles and a sweet mouth that says "Mama" alot. The empty space on my couch is occupied by my own little family of 3. That resounding echo of nothingness has competition in the peels of laughter and smiles that now inhabit my life. I still miss him more than I could ever express in writing however, I am accutely aware of what I have been given, and how precious it truely is. I wouldn't trade a thing in my life right now for him, not because I don't love him, or miss him, but because all those empty spaces that were left when he left us, have been bridged by something much more permanent than life, something that can never be taken away only to leave a gaping hole again. Love. Happy Birthday Daddy...I miss you, I love you.

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