3 Years

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of my Dad’s death. I can’t believe that it has already been 3 years. In a way it seems like it has been ages but yet it still feels like it was yesterday as well.


It is a weird feeling, this thing called grief. I certainly don’t grieve the same way that I did 3 years ago, the whole process having kind of evolved into a entirely different way of coping. I still miss his voice, and I still am broken hearted that I can’t pick up the phone and fill him in on the latest crazy antic of his precious granddaughter or just hear his voice. I know that he would be beaming with pride over her and I know that he would show her off to everyone that he came in contact with. Those two really would have been quite the pair!

We are so lucky though that we have the wonderful family that we do have around us and there is no short supply of tales and anecdotes to be told on his behalf. I tell Rory all about her Papa every chance that I get and I have to laugh at her sometimes when I see that same “you talkin’ to me?” expression that he used to give me. She is just pure joy and I know that he had to have a hand in picking her just for us. She is 100% perfect and exactly what I envision he would have picked if he had the opportunity.

As the time has passed, I have found that I can sometimes feel him with me and I do dream of him occasionally, which always makes me feel good. Sometimes when it is just Rory and I in the car on the way to Decatur, I could swear that if I look over at the passenger seat fast enough, I am going to catch a glimpse of him sitting there, drumming his fingers on the arm rest to the drum beat of the music. Sometimes I even talk to him while it is quiet or when I have had a really rough day and just need to be loved on. I know that he isn’t here, or at least the logical portion of me does. However, I know that the best parts of him will never leave, the parts of him that live forever in my heart, in my mind, in my actions and in my life.

Dad,
I miss you so much that it hurts sometimes. I know that you are loving it in heaven, on golf courses that put Pebble Beach to shame! I thank you for your life, and for working so hard to create a legacy that I am proud to carry on. What a huge responsibility you have left me in your wake, to continue the good deeds you began. You were my fiercest defender and my harshest critic, but more importantly my best friend and confidant. I don’t know of anyone who loved more completely or more selflessly than you and I can only hope and pray that I show even a fraction of the same to those around me. I love you so much and am so thankful for the years that we were together. You will always be my first love and my hero.
Love, Fritz

To hold you over...First piggies and 18 Months.

It has been a full month thus far.  Between sickness (Rory-ear infection and Me-laryingitis), wedding, dance recital, my birthday and our beach trip, we haven't been home on a Friday or Saturday night in 4 weeks.  I am REALLY looking forward to just relaxing this weekend! 

Here are some pics to tie you over! 

First, this is a major milestone...her first piggie tales.

THe next 2 pics are terrible, and out of focus, but she was sick and not in the mood for pics.    They are the official 18 months pics and as such, this is what her 18  month birthday was...a little sick and on the move.

Long time, no post!

Sorry for the delay in posting, I will be back soon!  I have a pretty good case of Laryngitis and have not been 100% for a few days.  I will be back soon!

You know you are a Mom when & Out of the Mouths of Mom's

I thought that this might be fun!  Feel free to add more in the comments.  I recorded the first 10 that came to my head, but I am sure you all have plenty others.

1. You open your purse to retrieve your check card and find an apple juice box.
2. You reach in to grab your wallet and a pacie finds it's way into your hand.
3. There is an extra box of wipes under the back seat of your car "Just in case"
4. The thought of snot and poop doesn't scare you anymore.
5. You got into bed at 10:30p and are proud of yourself because you got into be "early"
6. You let your toddler walk around the house in 2 different shoes because it is "keeping her quiet"
7. You actually think to yourself, as you potty alone, "Wow, it is kinda boring in here when I don't have to try to keep the baby out of everything."
8. You refer to the bathroom as a "potty" even asking your husband "do you need to potty before we leave?"  Sorry honey!
9. You  have ever rearranged furniture in the living room, knowing that it won't stop the toddler from getting into trouble, but might slow her down enough that your tired self might get an extra second or 2 to catch  her.
10. You are getting ready to leave the house with Hubby and Crazy toddler when you realize that you have gotten everyone ready and they look refreshed and put together however, you still have  your pajamas on and haven't even thought about getting yourself ready.

Also, in the past 24 hours, these are some of the things that have come out of my mouth:

1. "Rory please stop licking the wall"
2. "I don't think Nellie likes it when  you put your finger in her nose"
3. "Oh, thank you for picking your nose and wiping it on my bare leg, next time lets put our boogers in a Kleenex"
4. "Please stop touching your hiney, I can't get your diaper on with your hands down there"
5. "Lets keep the Polynesian Sauce on our chicken and not use it as hair gel"
6. "No Ma'am, we do not poke our fingers in people's eyes"
7. "No Ma'am, we do not poke our fingers in the dogs' eyes"
8. "Ruby doesn't like it when you hit her in the head with your juice cup"
9. "Rory why is your croc in the potty?"
10. "Rory where is your diaper?"

Hope everyone is having a good week!

10 on Tuesday

Short on time so I thought that  ToT would be appropriate.

1. Rory has an ear infection.  She has run a fever off and on all weekend while we were in Decatur for Sarah and Victoria's recital.  She seems to be doing better today!
2. Took her yesterday for her "18 Month - Well Child visit" that was actually a "18 Month - Why is my baby running a fever and grumpy like Godzilla visit."  No shots for Miss Bee yesterday, we are delaying her 18 month booster to 2 years.  No biggie! We did get her weighed, she was 25lbs 2 oz and almost 34 inches long.
3. Contemplating going private with the ole blog.  I have had some issues lately with lifting of some info from the blog for malicious purposes.  I have to keep my family safe!  I have taken some security measures on the blog, if they work, we will stay public, if not, I will let you all know in plenty of time so that I can send you invites to the private blog.
4. Coming up on the 3rd anniversaries of my Dad and Nonie's deaths.  I can't believe that it has been 3 years already.  I know that they both would be proud of Kev and I and so proud of Miss Bee.
5. I have been playing with my embroidery machine a little bit lately, I will post some pics soon of some things that I have made for people.
6. I forgot to do a 17 month post for Rory, oops!  I took pics of her on her 18 month birthday, but she looks like she doesn't feel good (mostly because she didn't) but I will get them up as soon as I can.
7. My cousin Emily is getting married this weekend and Rory is a flower girl.  I will try to post some  pics of that next week after we get home.  R and I (and the dogs) are going up on Thursday after work and Kev is coming up on Friday to join us.  God HELP ME with Rory and the 2 crazy pups in the car with me on the way to Decatur, this could get interesting.
8. My Uncle Mark (Dad's brother) is coming up this weekend too.  We haven't seen him in a year, I am excited for Rory to get to see him and I know that he is excited to see her too.
9. Running out of thing for 10 on Tuesday
10. The girls did a great job at their recital, they are so grown up.  I just love watching them dance.  Speaking of, I have started looking around for dance studios in the 'Ham for Rory.  I know I still have a good year and a half before she can even start, but whatever!

Beach Pics

Heavy on the pics, light on the words!
Rory was obsessed with Aunt Jenni's glasses.  (Or Aunt Ninny as Rory says)

 Rory sat in Davis' lap and let him read to her for a long time.  She kept reaching up and patting his face and saying "Awwww, sweet"

 We had to watch  her like a hawk, she kept running towards the ocean and we had to chase after her.

 The last night that we were there, we took Rory out to the beach and took pictures.  Here are a few.

 I couldn't decide if I liked the color or black and white better so I included both.

The Big 3-0

I don't feel 30.

MIA

We just got back from a week at the beach.  I should be back this week with updates!